You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
