R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
