Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
he had hair everywhere except his balls
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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