yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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