No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
