CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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