Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize