I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
