cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
