she looked like the bat from fern gully.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
