So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Operation Purity has been aborted
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
