I just threw up on my dentist
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
