we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
