Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
