Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
