all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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