Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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