My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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