I murdered the dance floor call the cops
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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