So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
