Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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