Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
