My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
