I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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