you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Buhtt sex?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
