Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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