end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
