I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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