it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
