A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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