You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize