He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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