yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
