people are starting to question the shark bite story
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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