Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
