I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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