North Korea, Best Korea!
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
