so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
