I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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