wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize