I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
The best revenge is premature balding
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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