Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Buhtt sex?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
