it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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