I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize