So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
