On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
