Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
