Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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