we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
