I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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