Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
