ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize