is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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