Only a mothe r could love this liver
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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