remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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