Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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