what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
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