I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
