I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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