dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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