We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
