My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
