we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
