they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
