how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
