Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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